"Oh Good, you have maternity clothing. My 16 year old daughter is trying to get pregnant."
Your's truly takes a moment to absorb the above statement and pick her jaw up off of the floor before beginning to open dialogue with my customer. I hoped, no prayed, that I had heard her wrong but unfortunately that is exactly what she had said.
I was lucky enough (rolls eyes) to learn that Mom felt like there was nothing that she could do to stop her. Her oldest son at the ripe old age of 18 already had a one year old, the 16 year old daughter REFUSED to take the pill that Mom had put her on because she in fact, wanted a baby.
I suggested the class in school that makes you haul around one of those battery operated babies. I understand those things will go off without notice, making the life of a sleeping teen complete and utter hell. Mom says they have already done that, daughter removed the batteries and went on with her sleep.
My solution.....keep her butt home and away from the potential father until she can get her head on straight.
I mean really, there is so much wrong with this on so many levels. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand that there are going to be teens out there having unprotected sex and if you haven't worked on the whole "why you shouldn't have a baby as a teenager" thing by now, you may be a bit behind in the game but WHO THE HELL IS THE PARENT? Why do so many parents surrender their authority to their teens and even preteens? I just don't get it. There is a reason that they are considered minors by the authority, they are ill equipped to make monumental decisions, to live life on their own and provide for themselves. Give them the tools and the rules that they need to make good decisions that will affect the rest of thier lives. It is your job to say no sometimes, to set boundaries. Kids need you to do that, they seek that from you without even realizing it. I just couldn't believe that someone's attitude was so cavalier or one of defeat. Don't say that there is nothing that you can do, I just don't buy it. I think that is a complete cop out! You OWE your kids more than that!
It reminds me of the whole conversation I had with my teenage daughter. Apparantly for many parents around here it is perfectly acceptable to let your teenage son or daugther to spend the night regularly with their boyfriend/girlfriends. She was invited to a party where all were going to be allowed to spend the night since it would be so late and no one would want to drive home. Um...no...I'll haul my butt out of bed and come pick up my daughter. (thank god she just thought it was an overall bad idea and didn't even want to go) Yeah, because in the middle of the night you can supervise a group of 15/16 year olds and ensure that everyone of them is in their proper place.
Go ahead and buy alcohol while you are at it, turn your back and pretend that they aren't drinking it with the attitude that "well we did it, they should be allowed to have fun, too." (really, these words were just spoken by a parent of one of my daughter's classmates.)
I'm not naive in the thinking that it couldn't be one of my children that finds themselves dealing with alcohol, teen pregnancy or some other situation that isn't what I had envisioned BUT I will never take the cavalier attitude of some of these parents that I have encountered recently. Boundaries will be set, self respect will be taught and if I have to play the bad guy by saying NO a lot, I will just have to be the bad guy.
It just bothers me that so many parent's are forgetting to actually parent or have decided that it is really just too much work.
Stepping down off of my soapbox now but really.....????!!!
Your's truly takes a moment to absorb the above statement and pick her jaw up off of the floor before beginning to open dialogue with my customer. I hoped, no prayed, that I had heard her wrong but unfortunately that is exactly what she had said.
I was lucky enough (rolls eyes) to learn that Mom felt like there was nothing that she could do to stop her. Her oldest son at the ripe old age of 18 already had a one year old, the 16 year old daughter REFUSED to take the pill that Mom had put her on because she in fact, wanted a baby.
I suggested the class in school that makes you haul around one of those battery operated babies. I understand those things will go off without notice, making the life of a sleeping teen complete and utter hell. Mom says they have already done that, daughter removed the batteries and went on with her sleep.
My solution.....keep her butt home and away from the potential father until she can get her head on straight.
I mean really, there is so much wrong with this on so many levels. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand that there are going to be teens out there having unprotected sex and if you haven't worked on the whole "why you shouldn't have a baby as a teenager" thing by now, you may be a bit behind in the game but WHO THE HELL IS THE PARENT? Why do so many parents surrender their authority to their teens and even preteens? I just don't get it. There is a reason that they are considered minors by the authority, they are ill equipped to make monumental decisions, to live life on their own and provide for themselves. Give them the tools and the rules that they need to make good decisions that will affect the rest of thier lives. It is your job to say no sometimes, to set boundaries. Kids need you to do that, they seek that from you without even realizing it. I just couldn't believe that someone's attitude was so cavalier or one of defeat. Don't say that there is nothing that you can do, I just don't buy it. I think that is a complete cop out! You OWE your kids more than that!
It reminds me of the whole conversation I had with my teenage daughter. Apparantly for many parents around here it is perfectly acceptable to let your teenage son or daugther to spend the night regularly with their boyfriend/girlfriends. She was invited to a party where all were going to be allowed to spend the night since it would be so late and no one would want to drive home. Um...no...I'll haul my butt out of bed and come pick up my daughter. (thank god she just thought it was an overall bad idea and didn't even want to go) Yeah, because in the middle of the night you can supervise a group of 15/16 year olds and ensure that everyone of them is in their proper place.
Go ahead and buy alcohol while you are at it, turn your back and pretend that they aren't drinking it with the attitude that "well we did it, they should be allowed to have fun, too." (really, these words were just spoken by a parent of one of my daughter's classmates.)
I'm not naive in the thinking that it couldn't be one of my children that finds themselves dealing with alcohol, teen pregnancy or some other situation that isn't what I had envisioned BUT I will never take the cavalier attitude of some of these parents that I have encountered recently. Boundaries will be set, self respect will be taught and if I have to play the bad guy by saying NO a lot, I will just have to be the bad guy.
It just bothers me that so many parent's are forgetting to actually parent or have decided that it is really just too much work.
Stepping down off of my soapbox now but really.....????!!!
2 Comments:
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I just had to laugh reading this because I talked about this same thing with my teenager last year!
I can't comprehend letting 15 and 16 year olds just 'sleep' overnight like that. And I found out 2 weeks ago that one of the parents I know is totally fine with her daughter and friends drinking as long as it's at THEIR HOUSE.
OMG.
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